This week has definitely been more “off” than any week so far. Between the government putting out new restrictions on socializing during our Covis-19 pandemic and trying to maneuver my way through this course, I have cried, slept and had a few “crazy” outbursts with my love ones. As I was reviewing my notes from Sunday’s webinar, Mark’s words came back to me. My old self is dying. Which means, to me, I am grieving my old self. Why would I grieve something that no longer serves me? Well, she brought me this far in life. The good, the bad and the ugly and she isn’t entirely terrible.
But it’s really time to let go….we were told back in week 5 that we need to detach. I see now that the only way I can grow the way my needs take me is to detach the old ways that do not serve my needs. I need to be able to allow the law of substitution in for the law of growth to take effect. What I no longer pay attention to “atrophies” . As I continue to visualize my DMP or my press release, I am able to form a new attachment.
We learn from Haanel in 9-15 that since visualization is a product of imagination, it comes from the world within. Since it is from within, it is perfect and created by the Master Architect. However, sometimes the operator is inexperienced (me) but with practice and determination I can overcome this “defect”. My “new me” seed has been planted in the weeks previous to this and is starting to really take root. I feel more confident, more grounded, and more free than before I started on this journey. As I focus more on this part, the “dying” me resists less and less. I find myself yearning to do my exercises, my sits, my reading. I also find myself looking more for like minded individuals with a positive outlook for life and our community. My questions about why things are happening and my observations in this crazy time the world is seeing, have become more sophisticated and less opinionated.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up my Grande extra shot cappuccino with non-fat milk and sugar-free vanilla syrup. I’m still “that gal” and there are some things that really are perfection and worth keeping. But I fully expect to be sailing the Mediterranean once travel restrictions have been lifted in this chaotic world. I have no doubt that there will be a time our world comes back to more peaceful and enjoyable times. My subby is manifesting the way now!
Beautiful post, and I can relate on so many levels… I’ve had a few ‘meltdown’ moments myself, which is quite out of the ordinary for me, but I figure it’s just my “old self” gasping for air – wanting to survive – when I want to thank him for his time, but fully embrace / create my “new self.”
I totally get how you are feeling Nicole. You have expressed how I have been feeling this week. Thank you for putting into words that I am grieving.
Meant this to go on week 9.
Nicole, good for you for letting go of your old self so your desired best self can come in. From your blog rover friend John.
So happy to read that you’re feeling this: “…more confident, more grounded, and more free than before I started on this journey.” Keep letting go of the cement! 🙂